the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's always time for handjobs
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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