i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
