There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
