I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
