I just pynch a tree in the face
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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