You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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