just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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