I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He did a backflip because drugs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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