I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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