you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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