and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
