her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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