So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Randomize
