I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
