when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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