doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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