Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
