Christians are straight up FREAKS
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Still dying that you shit outside
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
