i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
