Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
