I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
