He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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