Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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