I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
