The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
