I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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