I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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