K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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