Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
After tacos, we're chasing women.