the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.