I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration