ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
worst night to have a conscience
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off