We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
