I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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