This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?