1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
