I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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