i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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