wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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