her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
