I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God, I missed his penis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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