I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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