Whod you bang
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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