where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
