I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
