He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
