I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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