Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
