I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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