Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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