omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
