god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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