are you so shy because you have an std?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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