she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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