i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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