summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
