Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my poor anus
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
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