Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
