do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
