I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
