Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
