pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
