Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
