You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
