In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
home. puking in laundry basket.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
