omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
